Traditions are the spice of life
On the eve of Thanksgiving, I thought I’d share an excerpt from my class: Seek Beauty • Create Joy which speaks to the importance of rituals and traditions, not just during the holidays, but also in everyday life.
I hope this message resonates with you, and that your holidays (and everyday) are filled with Joy!
My son and his friends home for the holidays. Circa 2015
Daily rituals help give meaning to the day and bring the people we love together
Life is full of uncertainties – the outside world constantly tossing balls in the air that we can’t control. However, daily Rituals enable us to take control of our individual place in the world and make sense of our day. Through Comforting Rituals we center down into what’s important in life. Bonus: when we share our rituals with others, we spread calm and joy to the people we love.
My Mother’s Comforting Ritual
One of my most cherished childhood memories isn’t earth shattering, or fancy or dramatic. It was a simple evening ritual that my Mom orchestrated to pull us together, help us shed the stress of the outside world, and give meaning to our day.
When Dad walked in the door from work, we’d greet him in our own ways – we’d holler hello from wherever we were in the house, or we’d run up and give him a hug, or a kiss. While he changed out of his suit and tie, Mom put dinner in the oven, poured some wine and perhaps a small bowl of nuts, turned on classical music, and stoked up the fire in the fireplace. Then we’d gather in the living room to talk, read and relax. If it was hot out, we’d carry our drinks onto the deck, put our feet up on the bench and gaze out at the view. Sometimes it was just our family. At other times my parent’s best friends – who happened to also be our neighbors – would join us. Or if I had a friend over, they would too. I remember laying on the floor side-by-side with my childhood friends, our feet up on the fireplace hearth, whispering to each other underneath the melody of my parent’s conversation, feeling safe, and cozy and content. I cherished that little space of time before dinner, even through my tumultuous teenage years.
The importance of Rituals
What I didn’t realize then, was how important that simple routine was in giving our little family time to decompress. It helped my Dad release tension and any issues he was facing at work, and it made me feel loved and nurtured and safe after whatever childhood insecurities plagued me. It was more than just a Sanctuary, it was a beautiful, simple segue between all of the stuff that happens in the outside world and zeroing back in on the core of what was important in our family.
Though the living room ritual was my Mom’s doing, my Dad had a role to play too. He never brought his work-stress into this precious family time. It’s only now that I realize he must have consciously shed his stress* before he walked in the door. Perhaps it was the peacefulness of the last mile drive through the woods, or opening the car door and breathing in the clear air, birdsong and views of Mount Rainier, or maybe he stood outside and did some calming exercise that I never knew about. However he did it, he was upbeat when he walked in the door. That’s not to say he was always a calm person – he had a Type A personality and strong set of opinions, and would let us know immediately if we did something he didn’t approve of. But the point is that he didn’t bring his stress from the outside world in to the sanctity of our home. In fact, my Mom’s calm ritual wouldn’t have worked if Dad brought all of his irritation, anxiety and upset in the door with him and dumped it on us. It was the two of them working in tandem to create a calm segue between the outer world and our home, that made it work.
*Shed Your Stress at the Door is another of the Joy-filled lessons we work through in Seek Beauty • Create Joy!
What rituals do you remember?
When we think of comforting rituals, morning routines and bedtime routines for our kids pop into mind. But equally important are the routines that the whole family does together at the end of the day. When you infuse a routine with meaning you can create a nurturing segue between the outside world, and the sanctity of home.
Give yourself the gift of JOY during the Holidays
Find more peace and joy through the holidays using the powerful lessons in Seek Beauty • Create Joy. Learn how to:
See and appreciate more of the beauty around you
Roll with the ups and downs that always tend to happen during the holidays
Gracefully handle difficult family dynamics
Use simple, but powerful exercises that will fill your body with Joy hormones!
"Thanks for your sprinkles of joy and beauty in my life and teaching me how to increase these to a higher level." —Jan Lowe
Seek Beauty • Create Joy is now open for instant access!
Seek Beauty • Create Joy also makes a heartfelt gift for the people you love. If you would like to give this class to someone on your list, you can do so below and I’ll take care of the rest!