She Wraps Herself in Color

An excerpt from my Writing-With-Coffee journal*:

She is kicking her way to the back of the paper, no longer seen, or acknowledged. She wraps herself in color so she doesn’t disappear. But who is she trying to attract anyway? A random shop keeper, or a man walking by? Why does it matter to her that she is no longer visible to them? Truth - they are invisible to her too.

So she wraps up in another layer of color - a mask like others wear foundation, mascara, or Botox. Trying to hide her wrinkles, fat belly, and thinning hair, conscious of the weird patch of grey on one side that she only sees in photos of her back.

Why does she see her wrinkles as faults and cringe at photos of herself? Too old. Too fat… when the beauty of the woman on the street IS her wrinkles, and her roundness. Oh, and the colors she wraps herself in.

She looks around and sees women spreading on layer after layer after layer, so desperate to hide what is underneath. Yet the beauty in these walls of San Miguel de Allende are the ones she can’t get enough of, the ones she fills her photo library with, the ones with pealing paint, stained with water and age. The ones worn so thin that the essence of what’s underneath shows through.

He told her ‘You have a Beautiful Essence’ - so it doesn’t really matter if she is invisible to others.

She chooses to believe him. And wraps herself in color for herself.

YOU Have A Beautiful Essence

A wise person told me to tell myself each day: 'I have a beautiful essence' and it was one of the most powerful lessons I've ever been taught. I encourage you to tell yourself the same thing each day, to focus on what's inside. Let's celebrate our wrinkles, rounded bodies and greying hair because these are our stories and our true beauty!