The Days Blend Together

I don’t know about you, but I’m not accomplishing much. Each day blends into the next. Projects that seemed so important a couple of months ago lay dormant, staring at me from further and further away as I simply turn my head and walk past. I’m moving to a slower rhythm now and often forget what day of the week it is. The only entries in my calendar are Facetime calls – friends next door as far away as those on the other side of the world. We share a glass of wine, or mug of coffee, or read to each other from our journals.

Each morning I send out a lesson to my students which might sound like I’m accomplishing something. But I’m not. I wrote the lessons before the pandemic came. When I still held a tangible ball of energy in my hands, before it broke apart and sifted through my fingers like sand. A lifetime ago.

I’ve been gardening more, cooking more, eating more. Playing lots of games of scrabble – my left hand versus my right. And spending an awful lot of time just sitting and staring into space. Centering down into a simple life. I chalk ‘filling slug traps with beer’, ‘snipping morning glory’ and 'picking a bouquet' as big accomplishments each day, as is my 250-step walk around our garden. Eight times around is a mile. Some days I walk more. Some days less. But I'm still walking in circles.

I might not be accomplishing much, but I’m noticing more, feeling more. Finding sparks of joy in things I took for granted way back then – the sharp tang of my husband’s sourdough bread; noting the exact day new blossoms burst out on the lilacs and when a tiny Akebia petal fell onto the moss; laughing at squirrels and bunnies chasing each other across the grass; how good it feels to pull weeds and watch veggies erupt out of the ground; how delicious my Mom’s old recipes are and how I really like to cook when I’ve got all of the ingredients.

And each day, I participate in my own class: Seek Beauty • Create Joy. Funny, how when I wrote the course last fall and winter – it only seems like a lifetime ago – I pulled together exercises that are helping me cope with this roller coaster of emotion I’m now on. How did I know back then, that I would need my own lessons so much now? (Don't worry – when the current class is over, I’ll hold another and you’re welcome to join, if it’s something that calls to you.)

I signed up for a writing class the other day to try and shake myself out of this numbness – a few students in my class signed up with me to hone our skills at writing stream-of-consciousness. It’s a technique I touch on in my own class because it’s one of the best ways I know, to turn off our inner critic and tap in to the innate creativity that's inside of us. Instructions are simple: take a line and run with it, without thinking, without editing. Sort of like I did just now:

The days blend together
The days blend together
The days blend together

I think it’s working because I got up this morning and started writing to you, which is accomplishing something, don’t you think?

I’d love to hear from you:

Are you accomplishing much? Don't worry if you're not… you’re in good company.

Are your days are running together too? Are you accomplishing more or less than you used to? How are you creating Joy?